Thursday, January 8 2009
Faster Than a Speeding Bubble
I once popped a magnum in Reno, just to watch it froth
Ooh, those kooky, flighty Germans! What will they think of next? According to Decanter Magazine, German Scientist Logs Champagne Cork Speed.
A German scientist has managed to register the speed of a Champagne cork as it leaves the bottle.
Friedrich Balck of Clausethal Technical University in northwest Germany found that a vigorously shaken bottle of Champagne, with a pressure of 2.5 bars, expelled its cork at 40 kilometres per hour (km/h) – 24.8 miles per hour.
Finally, I can sleep at night! This reminds me of the legendary duel of honour I conducted against a manly rival on a birthday, many moons ago: Champagne corks at ten paces. Nobody was injured, but the propellants mysteriously disappeared in the course of the duel and had to be replaced several times. Two years later I found a champagne cork in a light fixture I was dusting. CSI (Cellar Stupidity Investigators) would have had a field day, or at least a glass.
What can we do with this knowledge? Well, keep in mind that champagne corks are on the heavy side, and relatively rigid. Catching one in the eye could potentially be quite hazardous, and there's sufficient force to knock over and/or shatter glassware if degorged by the unwary (ask my wife how I know this). I can see two solutions: first, cover the cork with a clean napkin before gripping the bottle and gently twisting it to remove it as slowly and softly as possible. Blasting pops and gushes of foam are for F1 drivers, nouveau riche, and anyone feeling oaty and festive.
The second solution is to do it the manly-man way, with a sword. While I think sabering champagne is a delightful party trick, for liability purposes, the Mothership won't let me describe how it's done. But here's a pic:
My, what a big sword you have, Peter!
Like I say, it's plenty of fun. But you have to do it just right, and even those with years of experience are sometimes surprised.
Waiter, I think there's something wrong with this bottle.
If you're not a swordsman, and you're out of napkins, you'll just have to cover your ears and dodge the ricochets. Fore!
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