Tuesday, March 17 2009
Europeans Lose Their Marbles, Ban Words, Wine
The great thing about the EU was how it abolished nationalism . . .
I've managed to travel a bit, so I recognise that other countries and other societies have different ways of doing things. I also think it's appropriate to pass laws to preserve heritage and prevent the loss of important cultural assets. Heck, I even like the French on the side of my cereal box.
But there's a point where preservation becomes protectionism, and where a concern for heritage becomes blatant idiocy. And that point is the European Union's bureaucracy. As of March 11th 2009 it became illegal to sell some American wines in Europe. According to EU legislation, any US wine labeled
chateau', 'classic', 'clos', 'cream', 'crusted/crusting', 'fine', 'late bottled vintage', 'noble', 'ruby', 'superior', 'sur lie', 'tawny', 'vintage' or 'vintage character.'
is ineligible for import or sale in Europe.
Now, having lost my own scrap with France and Italy in their turn, in the GATT courts, I see a certain point to protecting the unique names of places. The pre-history of the wine kit industry used terms like 'Champagne' and 'Burgundy' as a shorthand to describe wines of a certain style, and that's wrong, because those are places--places where the grapes in the wine didn't actually come from. Dutifully we changed to some interesting names, changing Pommard to 'Chat Dormant' (Cat Euthaniser) and Chateau-neuf du Pape to 'Vieux Chateau du Roi (Roy's Old House). Some of the new names worked better than others (death-of-cats is history) but it was the right thing to do.
Vas is das? Wein? Schweinhundt!
But this is beyond the pale. Poor, sad, dopey old European winesellers, scrabbling like rule-mad toddlers, trying to suppress rather than fairly compete. Let's face it, 'sur lie' is a technique, not a place. 'Tawny' is a colour, not a region, and furthermore it's a marketing name made up out of the whole cloth. And words like 'fine' and 'noble' are in English, which is not the first language of any fine-wine producing nation in Europe. This is a wholesale attempt to steal generic words and international wine terms, to bully and gain an unfair trade advantage.
You may ask, 'Tim, why do you care? It's California that's taking it in the neck. Are you off your meds?' The truth is I'm appalled by bullies, and by naked self-interest masquerading as order and good government. I want to enjoy good wine wherever I go, not some sneaky trade-negotiator's idea of what wine I should drink. I'm beginning to understand why Supertuscan producers discarded the appelation laws of Chianti, and why Spanish producers are making unclassified 'Vinos Sin Ley'. They've had enough of the dumb rules too, and just want to make wine.
Curse you unopposble thumbs! I can never work a corkscrew.
Now excuse me: I'm going to calm down with a nice glass of my Cat Snuffer .
| Posted by Tim AT 10:16PM | 0 Comments |  |
Post A Comment |  |
 |