Winexpert Announces It's Latest Breakthrough!

Dateline: April 1st, Winexpert International Product Science Headquarters Laboratory

Winexpert is excited to announce a brand new line of wine kits, adding to it's already industry-leading lineup of products. In keeping with our tradition of innovation, quality and hip trendiness we have developed the Winexpert Selection Colour-Match Series.

"This is truly a revolutionary product", says Tim Vandergrift, Manager of Conjectural Technology for Winexpert. "Think about it: for the last five thousand years there have only ever been three colours for wine: red, white and pink. Well, brown too, if you count that batch of Chardonnay I forgot in the carboy for six years, ha ha ha! But we know that the demographic of consumers we're trying to reach want a wine that fits into their entire life, not just the red, white or pink lives, but the entire palette of the living lives they uh, live." more

Posted by Tim the Fool AT 12:46AM 4 Comments Comments Post A Comment Post A Comment Email Email

Spring, Supermoons, La Belle Province and Travelling Companions

Westerners see a man in the moon, the Japanese see a rabbit. I see impact craters.

Life is suddenly very event-filled: here we are, just past the first day of Spring, under the watchful glare of the man in the moon, who is at perigee (which is twice as much as one-a-gee) whilst time and supertides wait for no man. I checked the tideline out on the beach in front of my house, and sure enough, the line of flotsam (is it flotsam when it’s on the shore, or jetsam?) was a few centimetres higher than the traditional line of beach-goo. I also went out at about three am, when the skies finally cleared and took a look at the moon. I could have read a newspaper, if I’d remembered my glasses and had a newspaper, and was comfortable catching up on local news standing naked on my patio, it was so bright.

As is my on and off again habit, I’m writing this on an airplane when I could be profitably employed doing something else, like napping or obtaining an array of alcoholic beverages to pass the time. Seriously, that little voice of conscience that pops up and says, ‘You’ve only been putting out two blog entries a month, lazy-bones’, he can just pipe down. It’s quality, not quantity. more

Posted by Babbling Tim AT 8:49PM 5 Comments Comments Post A Comment Post A Comment Email Email

Trust Me, I'm a Wine Writer

 The secret of being a top-notch con man is being able to know what the mark wants, and how to make him think he's getting it.  - Ken Kesey

I've been thinking a lot about wine criticism over the last while. I began feeling doubts about it when I began disagreeing with what seemed to be the prevailing trend in wine appreciation and criticism, for big, ripe 'fruit-bombs'. By the time I had decided that Robert Parker was the devil incarnate and that the magazine's name was better summed up as, 'The Wine Dictator', I was starting to feel like I'd been duped. more

Posted by Mr. Trustworthy AT 1:46PM 9 Comments Comments Post A Comment Post A Comment Email Email

Get In My Belly!

Caution! Tales of rampant carnivorism follow. Gentle readers may wish to choose another source of entertainment.

It was a simpler time, before the invention of cholesterol

Lisa: I’m going to become a vegetarian. 

Homer: Does that mean you’re not going to eat any pork?

Lisa: Yes. more

Posted by Fat Timster AT 4:47PM 4 Comments Comments Post A Comment Post A Comment Email Email
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