Tuesday, April 1 2008
Announcing Our New Wine Kit!
Winexpert is proud to announce its newest kit and best kit ever!
While keeping with our reputation for producing the industry's highest standard for wine kits, we have decided to take on the cutting edge of environmentally appropriate technology both by reducing the carbon footprint of winemakers and improving the environment, making the world's first truly 'green' wine: The Chateau Selection Series Sprirulina Algae Negative Carbon Wine Kit!
Spirulina is a blue-green algae. It is a simple, one-celled form of algae that thrives in warm, alkaline fresh-water bodies. The name "spirulina" is derived from the Latin word for "helix" or "spiral"; denoting the physical configuration of the organism when it forms swirling, microscopic strands.
Spirulina is the "food of the future" because of its amazing metabolic system, based on photosynthesis, a process of direct food energy production utilizing sunlight and chlorophyll, which is typical of plant life forms. This means that during fermentation the kit must receive direct sunlight–in fact, exposure to sunlight during storage and ageing will cause the wine kit to increase in alcohol! And it does this by directly absorbing the carbon dioxide generated by fermentation! Now the only smell your family will complain about will be pure, sweet fresh air coming from your fermentation room!
And that's not all! Selection Series Sprirulina Algae Negative Carbon Wine Kit will soak up all of the CO2 generated by other fermentations! Make all the wine you want: it'll only make your Selection Series Sprirulina Algae Negative Carbon Wine Kit produce better wine, faster! Algae to the people!
During the packaging process our Selection Series Sprirulina Algae Negative Carbon Wine Kit is subject to Pasteurizing at 70 degrees Centigrade (160 degrees F). In this intense heat, the naturally blue-green algae turns a frosted white and develops a sweet flavor as its 71 percent protein structure is transformed into polysaccharide sugars by the heat–more polysaccharides mean more flavor!
As a bonus, each Selection Series Sprirulina Algae Negative Carbon Wine Kit purchased April 1, 2008 will come with two cases of recycled cardboard Tetra-Pak™ 'Friendlybottles'. Made from 100% recycled shoe boxes and the wax from hand-raised Venezualan Yoga Bees™, these containers occupy 1/10th the volume of regular wine bottles and carry the Friendly Hippie seal of approval!
Contact your local Winexpert Retailer today and remember, Save the Planet: Use Your Liver!
Posted by Tim AT 2:26PM | 7 Comments | Post A Comment |
Comments
Don Hodgen
Posted 2 years ago
Great, but I guess I'm too late. It says if purchased on April 1, 2008 (not 2009).Oh well, maybe next year.
i love wine
Posted 2 years ago
What's spirulina for again? is that a substitute for yeast that you could use for making wine?
Alan Benninger
Posted 2 years ago
Perhaps you can get Al Gore to put together a short presentation on this new kit... worldwide sales will likely skyrocket for sure! Please ensure that a minimum of 300 kits will be made available to Cape Breton stores as the final product will look great as we sip this wine whilst wearing our Cape Breton tartan kilts, shirts, ties and socks.
Andrew Watkins
Posted 2 years ago
Ugh, now I feel like such a fool. I just remembered what today is!
Andrew Watkins
Posted 2 years ago
I just called LD Carlson to place an order. The person who answered said they never heard of it. I'd still like to get my cases of eco-friendly bottles when they eventually get your new product, and I place my order. Andy
Glenn H
Posted 2 years ago
How will this wine pair with nutria burritos? Would the nutria be too gamy for the wine, how about possum?
Evelyne
Posted 2 years ago
Well done, Tim!