Thursday, February 4 2010

News Round-Up

Tim, you ignorant Sauvignon . . .

Since I've been away from computers and my traditional sources of news for a couple of weeks, a few interesting tidbits have piled up, and i thought I'd share. First, from the Fraud Files, French Wineries, Co-operatives, Negociants and Conglomerates Charged in Pinot Noir Fraud.

According to Decanter, the accused are all involved in the Languedoc wine trade. The Languedoc is the south of France, a vast and fertile growing region that is the analogue to California's Central Valley--they produce most of the 'lake' of surplus wine that France and the EU swims in, along with many value-priced grapes and wine. Apparently E&J Gallo has been importing 'Pinot Noir' from the accused for their popular Red Bicyclette label.

Between 2006 and 2008, Sieur d'Arques allegedly sold 135,000 hectolitres of vin de Pays d'Oc labelled Pinot Noir to E&J Gallo for €4m (£350m).

 However the total production from those supplying the French distributors amounted to 15,000 hectolitres a year.

 Battut said the case proves the defendants were knowingly involved in cutting the Pinot Noir with much less costly Merlot and Syrah, delivering the equivalent of 16m bottles, or 460 oil tankers – and making a profit.

 According to French newspaper La Dépêche, one of the accused said that had the suppliers 'been asked to put Yoplait on the label, they would have' in order to satisfy customer demand.

I am shocked, shocked I tell you! Imagine, somebody selling 460 oil tankers full of fake wine, motivated only by greed!

A spokesperson for Gallo would only say they were awaiting the judge's ruling, while nobody from Sieur d'Arques was available to comment.

I wouldn't comment either, if my pants were burning brighter than a thousand suns and my pockets were full of ill-gotten lucre. Sometimes I wonder if we've come anywhere at all from the days when New Jersey 'champagne' was made out of turnip juice, apples and sugar, and when the English 'concocted  Port' from elderberries, molasses and beet-juice. At least when Hardy Rodenstock faked bottles of wine he had the good grace to do it with only the best, not with a broad-based value category. Lest you think this is isolated to mainstream companies, keep in mind that some estimates have the total amount of desirable vintages like the 1961 Lafite sold to consumers to be more than ten times the volume actually produced--i.e., it's 90% fake. My hippie pal was right: the pursuit of money is the root of all evil, and the only thing the liquor store takes.

From the Good News in Wine Science files, A Possible Cure for Alcohol Intolerance. I feel very privileged to be descended from Northern European stock (lest you think I'm being prideful, my people have been hicks and rednecks for hundreds of generations. As my pal Ace puts it, when the Romans came by we already had a chariot up on blocks in the front yard and were fixin' to fishin' down in Gaul with Cletus) because I'm blessed with the ability to consume alcohol with relatively low consequences (other than becoming stupider, I mean).

Folks of East Asian heritage can have trouble metabolising alcohol due to low levels of activity from an enzyme called acetaldehyde dehydrogenase. Very quickly, when you drink your stomach and your liver attack alcohol to break it down in a two-stage process. First, it's converted by alcohol dehydrogenase into acetaldehyde. Because acetaldehyde is even worse than alcohol (it's like a cross between nail-polish remover and vinegar in your bloodstream) you start to suffer from flushing, headaches, blurry vision and nausea. That's when acetaldehyde dehydrogenase kicks in, cleaning up your blood and leaving you sober and hung over. Without acetaldehyde dehydrogenase a few drinks can lay East Asians flat, and accounts for my ability to leave my Tokyo college chums in the dust on beer night (it still doesn't explain karaoke. Nothing does.)

According to the Wine Spectator article:

Knowing that moderate drinking of red wine may reduce the risk of cardiovascular disease, the researchers sought to find just what in alcohol protects cellular tissue from damage during a heart attack. Experimenting on mice, they discovered that alcohol triggers production of the ALDH2 enzyme, and during heart attacks, the enzyme can neutralize toxins and lessen possible damage to heart tissue. They also isolated a compound, Alda-1, which when injected into cells, enhanced ALDH2 activity. It also reactivated the defective enzyme in people with alcohol intolerance.

 "We started with the idea of activating the enzyme to protect heart tissue," Dr. Hurley said. "It turns out that it does this, but also we noticed it reactivates the enzyme."

 Alda-1 binds to the structure of the inactive ALDH2 enzyme and allows the enzyme to metabolize alcohol as it would in someone who does not have the mutation. If this is developed into a treatment, the person could drink without alcohol intolerance side effects. Alda-1 could also have another use: fighting hangovers, the researchers say. Many hangover symptoms are due to aldehyde build-up, which ALDH2 can reduce.

I think hangovers are a necessary part of the experience, kind of like curb feelers on a car, providing feedback for your consumption habits, but if this research helps protect heart attack victims, and allows folks with inactive enzymes to enjoy a beverage or two, it's going to alleviate a lot of misery. Yay science!

Finally, from the Wretched Excess files, World's Most Expensive Meat Pie Made, Eaten. According to Decanter Magazine,

The world's most expensive pie – made with two bottles of 82 Mouton among other choice ingredients – has just been created, and wolfed down, in Lancashire.

 The First Growth sauce – the two bottles were reduced to one to intensify the flavour – was by no means the most expensive ingredient in the steak and mushroom pie created by chef Spencer Burge at the Fence Gate Inn in Burnley, Lancs.

 The pie was made with Japanese Wagyu beef, famed for its unique marbling, velvety texture – and price tag of about £500 a kilo.

 There were Chinese mushrooms so rare they are picked under armed guard, black truffles, 24ct gold leaf – and a couple of bottles of Louis Roederer Cristal Rosé to wash it all down.

 With the mushrooms costing around £2000, and the Mouton worth about £375 a bottle, a slice of the pie was on the menu at £1000. There were eight slices. Add to that the price of a bottle of Cristal Rosé - £200 – and the meal turned out to be an expensive one.

I've had the 82 Mouton. When I bought it back in 1989 it was expensive, but not that bad. When I drank it in 1995 it was stunningly, crazy good. To put it in a sauce . . . that falls somewhere between grinding the Venus di Milo up for tooth powder and smashing Ming vases because they make a pretty sound.

I'm the last guy to criticise people for enjoying themselves as they would, and heaven knows, some of my time has been spent pursuing excess. But there comes a point where a potlach that devalues the goods you're consuming should embarrass you. I expect it leaves a stain on your soul in some way--at least, it should if there's any justice.

Still, I can't help but wonder what it tasted like . . .

Finally, in local news, somebody broke into my car, smashing through the driver's side window after efforts to jimmy the lock resulted in only a pile of metal shavings where the lock cylinder used to be. There was nothing much of value in the car: they took a flashlight I was fond of, but left the $300 worth of wine in the trunk alone--according to current RCMP officer (and former Winexpert accounting/production/purchasing Wiz) Christine, 'You can't run from cops with bottle of wine in your pockets'. Makes sense, although they busted my CD's (in retaliation for my not having anything of real value I guess) which was petty.

Have you seen this garment?

The one thing they took that really irritated me was my jacket. It's an inexpensive piece of company logo-wear, but I really liked it. It was one of the few jackets I've ever had that fit nicely and looked sharp. The important thing is, there are only a few dozen of these jackets in existence, and only two or three in that size (XXL). If you happen to be around Surrey/White Rock and see someone wearing a jacket that looks like the one above, do give me a call.

I'd very much like to chat with the person wearing it, to see what I can do to help them make better life choices in the future.

It's the least I can do.

Posted by Anchorman Tim AT 2:07PM

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