Missing the (Percentage) Point Completely

A lovely little vintage for those fond of not drinking

Clever readers will know that I'm pretty much dead-set against uber-high alcohol wines. I've given a number of reasons, including the fact that I like the way wine tastes, so a high-alcohol blockbuster means the fun is over too soon (one glass and I'm napping), most high-alcohol wines taste sweet, something I'm not always in the mood for, especially in a red to go with food) and just on general principles: I was raised on good French reds in the 12.5% range and I'm not especially chuffed at higher alcohol as a signifier of quality.

So it was with some irritation that I read Jason Wilson's article over at the Smart Set, On Big and Scary Wines, Or why 14 percent is considered OK, and 14.1 is the end of the world. Jason posted an anecdote about tasting and enjoying a 15.5% ABV wine. The conclusion that he drew from tasting this single wine was that anyone  averse to high alcohol wines is hysterical, a 'hater', speaking with 'rancor' and perhaps the most serious and hurtful charge of all, 'Anti-Parker'. Heaven forfend anyone should disagree with the blessed Saint Parker!

Robert Parker, my favorite wine critic. Not shown: puppy he is eating.

Wilson's article has a patina of reasonability, but in his failure to understand (or perhaps in an obdurate desire to set up a straw-man and knock it down) he completely misses the point: the problem isn't the difference between 14% and 14.1% (and please, straw man much?) The problem is hanging grapes until they are over-ripe wads of flavourless potential alcohol most often makes uniformly bland wines.  Over-ripe grapes don't make bad wine because they deliver too much alcohol. Over-ripe grapes make bad wine because they little or no finesse, a blandness of character and all the subtle and delicacy of a suckerpunch to the genitals. And I don't like getting junk-punched by wine. I'll save that for my next meeting with Parker.

Another few weeks and they'll finally be ripe enough!

Wilson cites Darrel Corti's decision to stop carrying wines over 14.5% alcohol in his high-profile and influential wine store in Sacramento as evidence of Corti starting a 'crusade'.

It’s been three years since wine legend Darrell Corti famously banned wines with more than 14.5 percent alcohol from his family’s venerated gourmet shop, Corti Brothers in Sacramento, California. Though a few notable dissenters piped up — including critic Robert Parker, who called it “appallingly stupid, frighteningly arbitrary, and like some part of a police state’s mentality” — Corti’s crusade was met mostly with applause among the cognoscenti. Decrying high-alcohol wines as “unbalanced” or "fruit bombs" or even "dangerous" became one of the biggest issues in wine. Many sommeliers and shops followed Corti’s lead.

Note the prejudicial language: Corti didn't 'ban' wine. Because neither Corti nor his retail store are dictators, elected officials or any other sort of authority, there is no possibility of enforcing a 'ban'. As an independent retailer he simply chose to stop stocking wines he didn't like. Of course, The Great Satan had to pipe to characterise Corti's completely reasonable, legal and normal action as 'stupid . . . frightening . . . part of a police state's mentality' just to show he understood how specialty retail works (I manage a retail store. I wish I had the powers of a police state. I'd order people to buy more stuff, address me as 'Your Magnificence', and take Wednesdays off to oppress my workers and chortle with fat-cat retail cronies).

Wilson goes on to quote Lettie Teague's column in the Wall Street Journal (full disclosure: I've spent a few hours in the company of Lettie Teague and have a wine crush on her. She's a lovely person and a great critic). She notes that she has a number of wines in her cellar above 14% alcohol that she likes and questions the arbitrary nature of a rejection of wines above that point. She does use the word 'banned' in relation to Corti's action again, which makes me wonder about a shared playbook somewhere.

But Teague's cherry-picked counter-examples don't represent the real problem with high-alcohol wines: they're all more-or-less cut from the same bland cloth of overwhelming fruit, and power without character. They're the vinous equivalent of piling horseradish on your roast beef sandwich (I'm stealing this example from Terry Pratchett, because it's brilliant and he's a much better write than I will ever be). Horseradish is a powerful flavour that's heady, redolent and (in my books) delicious. But if you really like it, one day a spoonful isn't enough to cut the mustard, as it were, and pretty soon you're piling on more and more to get that same kick, until one day you see that the beef slipped out a long time ago and you're eating nothing but horseradish between two slices of bread.

Subtle, yet full-bloodied. Photo by Matt Wilson, vectored via Reddit

Which brings us to Alder Yarrow. He wrote a blog back in 2008 which Wilson claims as inspiration,Stop Whining About High Alcohol Wines. The post doesn't start out well, with Yarrow characterising those who favour lower alcohol levels as 'whining', 'tiresome' and 'just plain silly'. He goes on to cite how some high alcohol wines can be tasty.

He does make an initial point that's very important, and one that I agree with: alcohol is not the sensation people dislike. In fact, the 'hot' or burning character of alcohol is conveyed by the trigeminal sense, not the taste buds, and it doesn't kick in until over 18% ABV, so none of the wines that I find flawed are have taste flaws due to alcohol content. I'm with him so far.

Next, he says "High Alcohol" Wines Can Be Great Wines. Some can, sure. But they can be crappy too. The plural of anecdote isn't 'data', and if he's not going to accept my assertion that I've had more unsatisfying high-alcohol wines than satisfying ones, I'm not accepting his that high alcohol is all lovely and wonderful. 

The next point is both straw-man, gross generalisation, an appeal to authority (his) which I find absurd. He says,

I'd bet good money that most (say 95% of) wine consumers, even those who buy wines in the "super premium" $20 and above categories pay absolutely no attention to the alcohol levels in their wine when they buy it. And furthermore, they couldn't possibly tell you, if tasting a bunch of wines, which ones had higher alcohol and which ones didn't. Which is to say that 99% of the time, they wouldn't even notice that a wine they happened to be drinking was 15.2% alcohol.

NOTE: Bits of the following section have been edited to remove content which was not cogent to the discussion, and which was unfair towards Alder Yarrow. He didn't ask me to take it out, but in looking at it I realised that it wasn't worthy of an honest discussion of the issue, it was unnecessary and it was actually quite jerky. Mea culpa, and I've apologised to him directly.

Then he goes on to further generalisations.

Even if most wine drinkers did know that their wine was high in alcohol, they couldn't care less. Have you ever noticed how many people drink martinis and Mojitos and cosmopolitans with their food? Clearly Americans could give a rats ass about whether their drinks make their food taste better and vice versa. Clearly this is disappointing for those of use who enjoy the occasions when a great wine can make a meal that much more exciting, but we are a minority of the wine drinking public and the wine buying market.

I'd have to suggest that in the context of a debate about whether or not high-alcohol wines are worthy examples of wine-qua-wine, invoking Martinis and Mojitos is a little confusing. People who drink mixed cocktails are usually drinking for effect. The entire concept of the cocktail is a way to convey alcohol for social purposes, not to enjoy levels of subtlety and the beauty of the grape (although some cocktails are delightfully subtle and worthy of contemplation). People consuming cocktails with their meals are not the target consumer of critical thinking about wine: they're just having a drink.

There's something else I object to, and that's the idea that cocktails are much stronger than wine.  According to the National Institutes of Health and the US Government's department of Health and Human Services, a Mojito has less alcohol than one of the over-ripe wines I dislike. Don't believe me? Check out the Cocktail Content Calculator over at their website. A Mojito has 13.3% alcohol, a Gin and Tonic has 13.6% and while a Martini does have 31.1% alcohol yes, but it's a serious drink, and you don't belt them down with dinner unless you like napping in your meatloaf. A more cordial sort of drink that people have with food, the Screwdriver, has only 11.4%.

I should cut Yarrow some slack, as he and I are both bloggers and not journalists, and virulent disagreement over opinions doesn't serve any of our readers well. I certainly I agree with his final thought:

Sure it's fine to try to make better wine at lower alcohol levels if that's what you want to do. Sure it's fine to only want to drink wines like that. But for Pete's sake people, let's find something better to whine about.

Okay, I agreed with it until the final sentence. I can't think of anything better to discuss than wine I like or don't like, and characterising my dismay over the shift to clumsy, over-ripe tasting wines as 'whining' is what set me off in the first place. Disagreement is not whining: whining is that action of spoiled children or people who don't get their way and can't be adult about it, and characterising the other side of a debate as whining isn't a great way to frame a position.

Anyway, back to my original object of irritation, Jason Wilson. He winds up his opus with this:

At a wine writers conference in Napa this past February, I witnessed an interesting j’accuse exchange. Author and winemaker Jeff Morgan told the audience of assembled writers that — due to the current ultra-ripeness of Napa Cabernet Sauvignon and Pinot Noir grapes — 80 percent of winemakers “water back”, or add water, to lower the alcohol content of their wines. “That’s because of wine writers bashing high-alcohol wines,” Morgan said.

“Well, they should be [bashed]!” shouted Bruce Schoenfeld, the wine editor of Travel + Leisure. “If you have to water back, maybe you should grow your grapes somewhere else.”

“Well, in France, they add sugar to get their alcohol content up,” retorted Morgan, reminding us that chaptalization (adding sugar to unfermented grape must) is legal in France but illegal in California. “So maybe they shouldn’t grow grapes in France if they have to add sugar to make 12 to 13 percent wine?”

Where to start. First, characterising the exchange as 'j'accuse' is interesting. It's from Émile Zola's open letter to the President of France decrying the Dreyfus affair. Without going all history on you, it's a story of a monstrous miscarriage of justice, retribution, recrimination, and a corrupt and prejudiced system. Wow, that's a lot to hang on an exchange between a winemaker and a wine editor. To be fair, perhaps he was using it in some other sense . . . although I can't think of one, sorry.

Moving along, Jeff Morgan was being disingenuous in that exchange. Watering back is a perfectly valid technique, and if it made the wine worse, no winemaker would do it--seriously, he's blaming wine critics for his over-ripe grapes? In one breath winemakers claim they don't listen to Parker and make the wine they want, and in the next they claim wine critics are dictating that they add water? Wha? Wasn't he listening to Alder Yarrow back in 2008? Or Lettie Teague in 2010?

Schoenfeld has an excellent point, however: if your site will only produce over-ripe examples of the grape that require water-back (or worse, a trip through Clark Smith's de-alcoholizer-o-matic), you should look at relocating your vineyard or resigning yourself to making over-ripe wines.

But the sweetest thing is when Morgan retorts about the sugar. Ah, ha ha ha ha! Yes, they add sugar to wine in France. And it's legal. And it serves to make wines with a balanced alcohol content--after all, alcohol delivers flavour and adds sweetness to wine. Added judiciously, sugar can increase the alcohol content (usually by a maximum of 2%) up to 12% in whites and 12.5% in reds. A quick check on Wikipedia notes:

In the United States, federal law permits chaptalization when producing natural grape wine from juice with low sugar content. This allows chaptalization in cooler states such as Oregon . . . However, individual states may still create their own regulations; California, for example, prohibits chaptalization,   although California winemakers may add grape concentrate.

Rectified grape concentrate, clear as water and free of any flavour or aroma is just like liquid sugar--that's why they use it in 'naturally sweetened' breakfast cereal, because it tastes and performs like sucrose-fructose. And you can add it in California. Know what you can't add in France? Acid. And ultra-ripe grapes in California require shovel-fulls of acid to bring their pH down and to keep them from tasting like pancake syrup and being just as brown (a pH thing). I'm not really sure that Morgan scored any points here with that exchange, whether or not he was in a j'accusey or a hot tub.

Anyway, what was my original point? Oh yes: high alcohol wines aren't a problem. They're a symptom.

Super-high alcohol wines, or wines that require water-back or post-fermentation alcohol reduction mostly appeal to a palate of excess: too much fruit, too much sloppy over-soft tannins, too much enveloping, overwhelming sweetness. It's not that such wines are universally unwelcome, but too many of them are like modern junk-food, which is an amalgam of sugar, fat, sodium and savoriness designed to appeal to the most common and child-like of palate preferences on a level below the conscious. They're not delightful wines by design, they're designed to smother the drinker in over-intensity. Even if I taste a 16% ABV wine and enjoy the first sip, they are never, ever refreshing. And what's the point of drinking if not to refresh ones self? You might as well just open a vein and shoot the booze in and suck on a cup of grape juice concentrate.

But maybe I'm just an old grump, pining for the days of my 12.5% Cabs, crusty and out of touch. Let's check in with a much more prominent critic and see what he thinks, as of this morning. In the New York Times, March 1st, 2011, Eric Asimov and his tasting panel reviewed a bunch of 2007 Napa Cabs Under $100. Here's what he had to say:

. . . we were disappointed to find so many uniform, monochromatic wines with little finesse. The fear of making wines that could possibly be termed “green” has led most Napa producers to forsake any semblance of the herbal flavors that were once integral to cabernet sauvignon wines. Instead of complexity, the rule seems to be all fruit, all the time, with power deemed preferable to elegance.

“Most seem made to fit a profile, in a commercially successful style,” Scott said.

It’s hard to argue with success, and no, this is not a new story. But it continues to disappoint me, even as I know that some Napa producers are aiming for more subtlety and nuance.

Hmm. One can hardly criticise Asimov's tasting expertise (although I do, because that's the kind of guy I am) or depth of experience. He's not complaining about alcohol, although the wines he's referring to have high ABV's. Instead, he's lamenting the bland sameness of over-ripe wines made from over-hung grapes. And there you have it, the real problem, framed by a real critic: bland, monochromatic wines without finesse.

And that's the point, not the percentage.

Posted by Over-ripe Tim AT 4:47PM 7 Comments Comments Post A Comment Post A Comment Email Email

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