Saturday, March 31 2012
Dateline: April 1st, Winexpert Product Science Headquarters
Winexpert continues to be first in consumer winemaking innovation! The company that invented the modern wine kit and brought you the world's first premium wine kit (Selection Original), the first Carbon-Neutral wine kit, the Colour-Match wine kit, the first 80-Proof wine kit and many, many others, now brings you the first consumer-produced energy beverage, Blue Boar Winergy™!
Nothing says 'energy' like pigs on the wing!
Lynne Sideburns, Chief Product Excitement Officer is elated with the new product launch, noting: "The trend to energy drinks like Red Bull™, Rock Star™ and the like have overwhelmed the specialty refreshment beverage category in the last ten years, but there's never been a way to make your own, until now! And with our exciting array of flavours and styles--Boarberry Blue Blast, Racing Heart Raspberry, Exotic Fruits Jitterjuice, Extreme Elderberry, and Warped White Zinfandel--we have a Blue Boar Energy Beverage for everyone's taste!"
Just don't make a piggy of yourself!
"Energy drinks are a godsend," explains Tim Vandergrift, Winexpert's Manager of Conjectural Technology. "Especially if you're trapped in boring meetings, hour after hour while people drone on and on--who can stay awake for that? In fact, I came up with this idea during a meeting, after falling asleep so deeply that I didn't wake up until it was time to start work again! Ha ha, I miss that job."
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Posted by Hajime Shigatsu AT 6:34PM
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Thursday, March 22 2012
An impressive public works project
Greetings from the road--the Silk Road, that is. In case you've been looking for me (curse you, moneylenders) I am in China--the city of Chengdu capital of Sichuan province, to be precise. Sichuan is a pretty interesting place--population somewhere north of 80 million, previously most important as an agriculatural area (peaches, sugar cane and grapeseeds!) it is also home to Sichuan cooking, one of the four great cuisines of China, and to Panda bears.
He doesn't do Kung Fu or make noodles, but he's got that bamboo cold
But you can find all that out on Wikipedia. The reason I'm here is to work the Wine and Alcohol Trade Show with our partners, the Canadian Export Centre. Winexpert has had some interesting times trying to crack the Chinese market--if you've never tried to import and sell things to mainland China, it's complex and sometimes frustrating. By partnering with a dedicated export company we've gotten some really encouraging results. Not that we're on the top of the heap: I counted hundreds of booths at the pre-show (today) and apparently the full show is much bigger and more crowded. I'm not sure how that's possible, but we're explaining the consumer winemaking concept to folks who are also looking at high-volume commercial imports, some of which are very competitively priced.
But that's okay: we have a secret weapon at our booth: me.
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Posted by Silk Road Tim AT 12:42AM
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Thursday, March 1 2012
Here? On the round globey-thingy?
The one question I get asked more than any other is, 'How can I learn more about wine?'. The answer, of course, is by drinking it. Lots and lots of it.
That's often easier said than (safely) done. You can only taste so many different wines by yourself until your house fills up with opened bottles, each missing only an ounce or two. Even if you invite friends over to play, 'Guess That Wine', there's an upper limit to your space, resources or liver capacity, even if you spit each taste. I try to drink a new bottle of wine every night, but even that gets more difficult--I'm too old to finish a bottle a night, my wife rarely has more than a single taste on a school night, and there's only so much vingegar, wine jelly and sauce reductions one can do with leftovers.
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Posted by Winefestivus Fortherestivus AT 12:32PM
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Comments
Dave
Posted 1 year ago
April 1st, huh? :)
Is there something significant about that date?
David Noone
Posted 1 year ago
Nice! Jam packed full of plausible rediculousness. Some favorites... Jitterjuice, Conjectural Technology (sounds like a great job by the way), dubstep, rumbling teeth, and anterograde amnesia...
Nice! Full of tenable rediculousness. Some favorites... anterograde amnesia, dubstep, Jitterjuice, Conjectural Technology (sounds like a great job by the way), and rumbling teeth, and ...
Nice! I had anterograde amnesia once. Great blog post. Some favorites...
har